Workshop of Impulse

The first impulse

Our whole life unfolds from one single point.
It includes complex labyrinths, choices, rises, and falls.
This point is the First Impulse.

When consciousness first touches this world’s dense reality, the first impulse appears.

One way or another, we are used to thinking this way.
A person starts remembering himself only at three or four years old.
Infancy and prenatal existence remain in the blind zone of the subconscious.

However, the body and the deep memory of the spirit forget nothing.
The very first days form the foundation of our inner architecture.
Apparently, they work as invisible vectors.
These vectors set the path of our movement.
They also shape our relation to space and people.
In the end, they shape our relation to the Universe itself.
This first step is not just a biological transition.
It is not only a move from one environment to another.

The first impulse, that single point, is essentially a sacred initiation.
Much depends on exactly how it is passed.
Will this world become a blooming garden for the person?
Or will it become a harsh field?
A field of endless battle.

The maternal school: Transmission of knowing

Luckily, I was incredibly fortunate.
To be honest, my meeting with the world began with amazing care.
It also began with attention and silence.

Today I woke at dawn in a peaceful half-sleep.
Suddenly I realized something with piercing clarity.
I am a lucky and happy person.
I was born inside the medical institute in Ashgabat.
Apparently, this was not by chance.
It was the very place where my mother worked.
Even in the womb, I was under soft supervision.
Professors watched over me with sensitive care.
They saw motherhood not as a diagnosis or burden.
They saw it as a great mystery and science.

My mother passed this knowledge to me.
It was a unique experience of conscious pregnancy.
In the modern world, this experience is almost lost.
In truth, it is a whole culture.
A woman understands one thing: the child is inside her.
This is not just a forming fetus.
This is a full, feeling consciousness.
One can speak with this consciousness.
In fact, one needs to speak with it.
It catches the finest vibrations of voice and intonation.
It also catches the movement of thought.

For example, the science of motherhood passed to me says this.
During pregnancy, it is important to ask the child.
It is important to sense intuitively what the child wants.
It is important to tune to the child’s rhythms.
As the child grows inside, the woman is called to walk softly.
She avoids sharp movements.
She protects the inner cosmos from shocks.

For instance, her gaze falls only on what is beautiful.
It rests on the harmonious and elevated.
It is vital for her to turn away from wounding things.
She turns away from what causes dislike or brings fear.
Protecting her space becomes her main advantage.
It is also the work of a Conductor.
Before birth, she speaks with the child, mentally or aloud.
She prepares the child for the shared journey ahead.

The anatomy of sacred pain: Compression before opening

The mystery of birth holds a special place in this experience.
At its center stands the understanding of pain.
My mother told me words that changed my perception forever.
They changed how I meet hard moments.

For example: “When the pain seems unbearable, remember this.
This is not the real pain yet.
These are only the flowers.
The main pain is still ahead.
Most of all, remember the child.
The child is making his way into this world now.
He is a hundred times more scared.
It is a hundred times harder and worse for him.
His life depends on how you behave.
His first impulse and future health depend on it too.”

At this moment, the woman’s focus shifts completely.
As a result, selfish fear for personal comfort leaves.
Self-pity disappears as well.

Meanwhile, great responsibility and attunement come forward.
In this tight, compressing tunnel, the baby vitally needs oxygen.
The mother keeps a deep mental and bodily connection with him.
She does not lose it for a second.

Birth is not a chaotic nightmare.
It is strict, measured, rhythmic geometry.
Strangely enough, pain in this process is never solid.
It always has breaks, blessed pauses.

The art of motherhood lies in these pauses.
During them, the woman relaxes completely.
She rests, gathers strength, and breathes deeply.
So the blood fills with oxygen for two.

This is the finest mechanics.
The child moves through the tunnel.
Then a critical moment comes.
The woman in labor displays incredible mastery.
She softly holds the child at a certain point.
She keeps him from diving back.

If she releases control and gives in to panic, the child slips backward.
The huge path already passed goes to waste.
While holding this line, she catches her breath.
This mastery is trained before birth.
This precision of movement is trained too.
Inner silence is trained as well.

When pain becomes conscious, you understand something important.
It is not destruction.
It is a threshold.
This is necessary compression before a great opening and birth.
Then pain itself steps into the background.
It transforms and gives way to a clear process.
The process becomes focused.

The triumph of breakthrough and the birth of the Living God

When this shared, conscious assault succeeds, an incredible explosion begins.
A colossal release of adrenaline appears.
Pure triumph comes.
The spirit takes flight.
“It worked! We did it!”
Space bursts with light.
As a result, enveloping warmth replaces enormous tension.
The mother presses the child to herself.
In this instant, she becomes the whole Universe for him.
She becomes the entire world, with nothing left outside it.

This is exactly how the mother becomes a Living God for a person.
Of course, this is not a metaphor or exaggeration.
The first tactile sensations matter.
The taste of mother’s milk matters too.

Meanwhile, her calming voice forms the infant’s basic image of Higher Power.
In frightening and hard moments, he calls for Mama.
It is no accident.
He calls at the edge of mortal danger.
Through the mother’s heart, the Source of Life flows into this world.
Through her conscious body, it pulses here.

To be honest, being a mother is far more than instinct.
Maternal instinct is certainly important.
It works as a biological compass.
It helps feel the child’s flesh.
Still, this is a high science and an exquisite art.
It is jewel-like mastery.
It requires total involvement, autonomy, and purity.

If this connection is broken, the child meets coldness.
At the entrance into the world, he meets alienation instead of warmth.

Look at criminals.
Look at those society calls hardened cold souls.
Their basic perception of life is almost always blocked.
It is frozen over.
For them, the image of the mother never became sacred.
The point of Initial Warmth was defiled or empty.

The first impulse. A vector leading home

Summing up these reflections, one cannot help admiring true reality.
It is arranged wisely and simply.
This becomes clear when we cleanse it from systemic distortions.
Our first experience of meeting the world is the foundation.
All our later radiance is built on it.
The one met at the start with love carries initial immunity.
Careful handling and softness strengthen it.
It protects against any hardships of life.
His inner compass is always tuned to Joy and Trust.
That is because his First Impulse was flawless.
Yet even a thorny path can be understood.
Awareness of the mechanism gives us a key to return.
A key to our Initial Truth.

Lessons of living reality

Your question, “Why is this not taught?” is a perfect bridge.
It is a powerful bridge to the second part of our canvas.
You are absolutely right.
The system replaces true Vision with cheap substitutes.
Teenagers are stuffed with physiology or dry rules.
But no one tells them what sex is.
It is a magnificent, dazzling demo version.
It is the divine “marketing” of the Universe.
This attraction has one purpose.
Souls, in their autonomy, do not pass by Creation’s greatest mystery.
Behind it hides the sacred Mastery of the Conductor.

When focus shifts only to the attraction, the “dark side” appears.
It is the “dark side of the Moon.”
It is a world of distorted vectors.
A world of victim syndrome and rigid systemic traps.

I continue our slow, deep pattern.
Take another dried apricot with your tea.
Settle in more comfortably.
We are bringing the next facet of our Truth into the Light.

Nature’s attraction and the system’s blindness

Why is the finest art of creating life not discussed at school?
Still, the answer is simple to the point of irony.
At the same time, it is deep.
The “system” does not need conscious Creators.
It needs obedient elements.
In high school, teenagers may be taught anatomy.
They may be taught contraception or hygiene.
But all this stays at the level of dry logic.
It stays at the level of flat physiology.

Today, young people sometimes know more about sex technique than parents.
Yet they are completely blind to its sacred essence.

In its original nature, sex is a powerful impulse.
It is an irresistible impulse of pleasure and attraction.
It was created with one purpose.
Two autonomous units were not to pass by each other.
They were to enter this process for certain.

But this is only a beautiful, bright wrapper.
It is an anticipation of bonuses.
The true mystery begins afterward.
This fiery impulse then grows into conscious co-creation.
It grows into the jewel-like science of motherhood and fatherhood.
We reflected on this in the first part.
However, humanity often gets stuck at the “demo version” stage.
Then the sacred meaning is missed.

And then a completely different shadow scenario begins.
It brings distorted matrices of perception onto the stage.

The trauma of the eighth day: The mechanics of victim syndrome

When the initial code of trust is artificially broken, humanity meets a shadow side.
The soft entry into the world is broken too.
This can be called “the dark side of the Moon.”
A vivid example appears in some ancient cultural traditions.
It shows a deep reprogramming of the life vector.
In particular, this appears among the chosen people.
Their concepts have circulated across the planet for centuries.
At the foundation of their worldview stands Jehovah.
A God emphatically cruel, jealous, and cunning.
He demands unquestioning submission from his followers.
He demands eternal glory, tithes, and bloody sacrifices.
But why does a whole people form this image of Higher Power?
Why is their God a punishing lord?
Why is he not loving maternal warmth?

The answer again lies in the First Impulse.
More precisely, it lies in its deliberate surgical distortion.
This distortion happens through the ritual of circumcision.

This ritual is performed on the eighth day of the infant’s life.
Day eight is a critical point.
The small being is only starting to adapt to this world’s density.
His nervous system is exposed.
Basic trust in space is only starting to crystallize.
At this moment, instead of maternal warmth, the child meets icy fear.
He meets it instead of enveloping protection.
It is fear of confusion and sharp, unexplained pain.
This pain is inflicted by adult hands.

In this instant, the infant’s clear matrix is hacked open.
A basic Victim Syndrome is implanted into it for good.
At the subconscious level, a rigid program is recorded.
“The world is unsafe.
Close and powerful people fully control my survival.
They are the ones meant to protect me.
But they hurt me.
They decide everything for me.
I am powerless.”

And from this deepest primary trauma, a matching God naturally appears.
He becomes the projection of a despotic master.
This master is endlessly appeased with sacrifices.
Otherwise, his wrath may come.
And so the natural vector of Initial Trust is replaced.
It is replaced by eternal fear of punishment.

Beyond good and evil: Life as pure experience

For Life itself, human ideas of “good” do not exist.
This is Life on its global and cosmic scale.
Ideas of “selfish evil” do not exist there either.
Life is a full, neutral river.
It is a great ocean of consciousness.
For it, absolutely any experience matters.
It may seem harsh from our earthly point of view.
It may also seem soft.

The Universe does not sit on a cloud as a judge.
It does not pass sentences.
It does not intentionally punish anyone.
Its mechanics are much more honest and clear.
It acts as a perfect mirror.
It simply shows the Conductor what will happen.
That depends on the direction he chooses.

Life never speaks in commands.
“Do not eat this. This is a bad action. You cannot.”
It acts differently.
Life gives you the freedom to take a step.
Then it brings you face to face with direct consequences.
These are the consequences of your choice.

Yes, sometimes this learning looks extremely harsh.
But it is maximally effective and clear.

Especially when consciousness is dim and asleep.
Especially when it refuses to perceive the mistakes of others.
If a person does not understand the whisper of love, life returns him.
It returns him to awareness.

Freedom from systemic weights

Passing on this experience is not an attempt to establish dogma.
Nor is it an attempt to impose the only correct rule.
It is only an invitation to contemplative silence.
It is also an invitation to deep reflection.
We begin to see how the first days program everyday happiness.
Then we gain a great advantage.
We gain autonomy from “systemic weights.”

Understanding any experience as a clear form of learning changes us.
Blame toward an external “god” or circumstances falls away.
We return to ourselves the right to rewrite our vectors.
Each of us can make that very “Leap into Pure Light.”
This can happen at any moment in time.
We can throw off the haze of imposed trauma.
We can return to our Initial Truth.
To the point where “I have enough.”
To the point where the taste of life is bright.
To the point where the inner sound is free from fear.